Crap-OH-la™ #1: The First Poop!
*aaaarrrgggggghhhhhh* "I think its coming out!" Michael screamed loudly as he sat on the toilet in his one bedroom apartment. Michael...also known as Mike... was on the receiving end of his Chinese buffet lunch date with his girlfriend Dana. "I think I ate some bad food" he stated to her.
"Im wondering why you called me while you are taking a shit!" Dana questioned him.
"Ummm I was hoping to get some unused toilet paper!" Mike replied as a loud ear splitting farting nose came out of his ass and he pressed the little red button on his phone to end the conversation.
"Damn ungrateful woman!" Mike screamed as he hung up the phone. They had met accidentally on Facebook two years ago, and just found out two days ago that they lived in the same apartment building (she lived right below him!).
Dana was not a very attractive woman, but was very nice. She also held a job at the local Burger Hut restaurant as an assistant head fry cook. Dana loved to cook. More specifically she loved to fry cook. It was her passion...BUT ENOUGH about her...She won't appear again until at least Crapohla #3!
Mike got up off of his toilet and pulled his sweatpants up. "MAN...i tore this bathroom up!" He whispered to himself as he sprayed air fragrance throughout the bathroom.
The apartment complex was an older brick style. It consisted of 3 triple story buildings. It wasn't much...but Mike didn't need much. He was a 22 year old man that didn't have any kids or very much of a social life. Mike lived for videogames and comic books. He had a mediocre job as a full time bagger specialist at the local jolly mart. Jolly mart was basically one of those stores that sold everything. It didn't pay a lot but at least you received a 5 percent discount on every thing you wanted.
"I need to get motivated to do something" Mike told himself. "Off to work I go..." He finally got up and left the bathroom, and left his apartment for work. But what he didn't do was make sure that he flushed the toilet properly...leaving two long 6 inch greenish/brown turds in the toilet with no toilet paper covering them swirling around in the bowl. One of the turds ended up going down the hole but the other remained.
Scene 2:
"Boom, boom!" Mr Butts screamed as he took the plunger and started to jam it in and out of the toilet. Mr Butts lived below Mike and Dana's apartments. He was an elderly man whom over exaggerated everything. "Something has clogged the Damn line-.....Damnit!" He stated loudly as he plunged the toilet rather aggressively. Mr. Butts was plunging the toilet so aggressively that he didn't see the brownish/greenish foam that was coming from the toilet hole with his eyes squinted shut.
"AAIIIRRRGGGHHHH" A voice that was a more like a creepy squeaking high pitched noise coming upwards from the toilet bowl emerged startling Mr. Butts making him open his squinted eyes. What he saw next would haunt him for the rest of his life...he witnessed a greenish/brown turd with yellow eyes and a mouth full of teeth shooting toward him.
"Stay away from me, monster..." Mr Butts yelled as the turd dug its teeth into the man's neck.
The turd stood on the hurt man's face while staring down at him. It was sprouting legs and arms...but they weren't fully developed yet. "I am a turd" it whispered in a whiner shrill voice..."I was flushed away way too early...discarded...aborted...
When Mr.Butts awoke, he was laying on the floor with a couple brown marks on his neck. He also had a substance on his face that smelled like real nasty poo. "Man...i need to lay off of those late night nacho and beer binges!" He thought to himself. Little did Mr.Butts know, but he just unknowingly unleashed the evil living turd...on the world.
NEXT....in Crapohla™#2: "The Evil turd"... UNLEASHED!
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